Angel's garden 2014

Despite a hard winter, Angel's garden is thriving for the most part. The butterfly bush did not bloom this year and it may be because of heavy snow or I didn't cut it back enough in the spring. I am sad about that, but I will see it if might come back next year. 

One month countdown to her third birthday in heaven. I have been having random flashbacks out of the blue. I guess my subconscious knows what time of year it is. Missing her today and every day.

Panic

We spent the weekend in Ottawa and Mimi has a great time running around my brother's fully fenced backyard. Well on Sunday night we were sitting on the deck and after a few minutes of realizing Mimi hadn't run back over to us I said "where's Mimi." I started calling for her and checked to see if she was let back in to the house and I didn't realize. We all started searching the backyard using our phone flashlights, and then the path behind the house, in front of the house, the whole house. As I am looking and calling I started to get panicked. I felt a lot of the same fear from when we lost Angel, where you gut gets in knots and the fear creates tingles up your back and neck. As I was walking down the path calling her I also was speaking to Angel and asked her to help me find her. Or bring her back. Finally, probably 10 minutes later (felt like an hour) she came running up at me from who knows where at the front of the house. I was so relieved! I don't know what I would do if she got hurt or lost. My head was thinking that a coyote got her in the forest behind my brothers house. The most I can gather is she got out under the fence to the neighbors but then had to find or dig her way back out. 

The experience brought back some feelings about losing Angel. The panic and fear was similar. I am just thankful the outcome was a positive one and Mimi is ok. Here she is all peaceful beside me after her little adventure.