Donation for Angel

Angel is turning 4 in a few days - her heavenly birthday that is. She should have been starting school this year. My mom and I donated two backpacks, one for a girl and one for a boy, to children in need through my aunts church, in Angel's memory.

Shopping for these was definetly a trigger. But I did it. And although I sobbed in the car afterwards, I am holding on to the fact that this will help two little humans and make them very happy on the first day of school. 

Choosing your breath: healing words

The challenge this week was to write a haiku about my grief. I wrote two for my baby girl xxx

Falling off a mountain

Choosing your breath: secondary loss wheel

Losing my Angel led to so many other losses in my life, it was the stone in the water but there were endless ripples from the experience. I grieve for her and I grieve for all of the secondary losses that came with it. 

A photo that needs no description - oh my heart

Choosing your breath - a picture of grief

While I am not the best artist I decided to take a crack at illustrating my grief. I had to add the words in to articulate the peaks and valleys and the stages of grief. The sun represents hope to me, and the trees represent the trail, one of the places  I feel closest to my daughter and to nature and spirit. I would like to think I am getting closer and closer to the sun, and finding my peace in this life.

Choosing your breath: bottling it up

So many times over the years I have kept my grief secret and bottled it up. This exercise was about showing the feelings we often keep inside and what we project to the world more openly (or as self-protection). The visual representation and even the exercise of writing it out is powerful and healing.