5 years

In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago, the day you were born. 

With memories bubbling to the surface, I feel the pain, the grief and the love just like yesterday.

Although I wish things were different, I am staying true to my promise that I will live on for you. Never has this been more true than in this fifth year.  

I love you and miss you, my sweet baby girl.

Every night

2016 Donation for Angel

I've been so inwardly focused these days, dealing with my cancer battle, that I haven't posted here as often.  As a coping mechanism, I have pushed my thoughts about Angel's 5th birthday to the side, as I can only deal with so much at a time.  But that didn't stop me from arranging for her annual donation!


My mom and I, for the second year in a row, have arranged to have backpacks donated for children in need, through my aunt's church.  One for a girl and one for a boy - aged 5/kindergarten, in remembrance. It makes me feel good that her memory is living on in this way. :)

Middle ground

A new life crisis

Just over a week ago I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.  It has been a whirlwind of information and coping as I was referred to an oncology team at Mount Sinai, and will be starting chemo next week. 


Blogging about my stillbirth over the last 5 years has helped me immensely to sort through my feelings and was therapeutic for sure. I am hoping that doing so for this new life crisis will have the same effect.


If you've followed me on this blog, you can also follow my next journey here:
https://bumpintheroadandjourneybeyond.blogspot.ca/

Mother's Day 2016

This year Mother's Day has crept up on me. I am in a good place but it still tugs at my heart, knowing Angel isn't here. 

I wonder what she'd be like now, she should be about 4 and a half and would probably be stirring up tons of trouble of a daily basis!

Missing her now and always. 

Delicious ambiguity

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity." -- Gilda Radner