She felt all the pain and kept choosing love

5 years

In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago, the day you were born. 

With memories bubbling to the surface, I feel the pain, the grief and the love just like yesterday.

Although I wish things were different, I am staying true to my promise that I will live on for you. Never has this been more true than in this fifth year.  

I love you and miss you, my sweet baby girl.

Every night

2016 Donation for Angel

I've been so inwardly focused these days, dealing with my cancer battle, that I haven't posted here as often.  As a coping mechanism, I have pushed my thoughts about Angel's 5th birthday to the side, as I can only deal with so much at a time.  But that didn't stop me from arranging for her annual donation!


My mom and I, for the second year in a row, have arranged to have backpacks donated for children in need, through my aunt's church.  One for a girl and one for a boy - aged 5/kindergarten, in remembrance. It makes me feel good that her memory is living on in this way. :)

Middle ground

A new life crisis

Just over a week ago I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.  It has been a whirlwind of information and coping as I was referred to an oncology team at Mount Sinai, and will be starting chemo next week. 


Blogging about my stillbirth over the last 5 years has helped me immensely to sort through my feelings and was therapeutic for sure. I am hoping that doing so for this new life crisis will have the same effect.


If you've followed me on this blog, you can also follow my next journey here:
https://bumpintheroadandjourneybeyond.blogspot.ca/

Mother's Day 2016

This year Mother's Day has crept up on me. I am in a good place but it still tugs at my heart, knowing Angel isn't here. 

I wonder what she'd be like now, she should be about 4 and a half and would probably be stirring up tons of trouble of a daily basis!

Missing her now and always.