All that being said, I told my friend to pass on my contact info and that I am here to talk if and when her cousin wants to. I am a member of this community whether I like it or not, and I have my own support network that is always there for me -- women that are 3,4,5 years out from there loss. It only seems right to be an anchor for others that are not as far along in the journey.
I sent my friend an excerpt of the letter I wrote for the memory box that I donated to the hospital, if she wanted to share it with her cousin....here it is:
I am so sorry your baby is not coming home with you. I know your heart is broken and you may not know how you continue. But I promise you that you will. Also know that you are not alone. You will survive this. You will find a place where it is not as painful and you can cope. It will take time, and don't be rushed to move on or forget. Go at your own pace. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You may feel alot of fear and probably the most sadness and pain you have ever felt before. The intense pain you feel now will subside and you will feel some relief from it. The pain of loss never leaves you completely but it will get better, I promise you. You will carry this loss as you move forward but you will feel joy again, in between your grief.
Oh, Jen. I wish so much that I could have read those words from another mama - especially written to me - in those early days.
ReplyDeleteIt is the shittiest club in the whole world, and I'm always so sorry to hear of new members. But I'll tell you, some of the best people I've met are members, too.