Like Francesca said, I searched constantly for signs of Angel right after she died. I looked for her in the sunsets, in the little birds and butterflies that came to wink at me like it was her just saying hello, in the eyes of other children, when a song came on the radio that reminded me of her. In the beginning I needed things around me that reminded me of her, and I often created things for her, like little pieces of art, a prayer flag... I collected things like Angels and her molly bear. Her special spot still remains in our bedroom where we have her urn and footprints and a few momentos. I still often wear the angel wing necklace a friend got me around my neck.
I am searching less for her these days but more for my own meaning and contentment. I want her spirit to feel free and I also want to feel less burdoned by the searching for her.
Instead of asking the universe why she is gone and clinging to sorrow, I am working on letting go.
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