Grief is a constant companion that I cannot ever shake despite my intentions. As we approach international bereaved Mother's Day tomorrow I feel the sadness and fatigue creeping in. I am tired of pulling this grief around with me. I wish I could shake it off. I wish I could be certain it will get better. I wish I never knew the pain of losing a child. I wish I could hold her again.
We are so close in our losses. And I experience that, too. The heaviness of grief, following me around all of the time. I wonder if it will ever go away, or if I am sentenced to the rest of my life with this heaviness. For the past few days, I have felt so empty. Vast spaciousness inside of my chest. It's not a pleasant sensation. I think that it is just deep missing, deep longing for my boy. My baby boy.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI wish that you could too. It gets so tiring having grief as your constant companion.
ReplyDelete