Monkey on my back

I went for my regular doctor checkup and  I had to complete some forms with my basic health info...again even though I did it at my last annual appointment.

Number of pregnancies....1... flashback 

Number of live births....0....flashback flashback 

Have you ever stayed in the hospital overnight for treatment? Labour and still birth.....flashback flashback flashback

It is like a monkey on my back that follows me around. It eats away at my spirit and soul. How I wish I could shake it off, just once in awhile. This piece of my life that defines me in a totally different way.

Tomorrow will be 23 months since that fateful day when I found out she was gone. I can remember so many details like it was yesterday. 

My heart will always weep for her. My soul is shaken by this loss forever.