A punch in the gut and a butterfly

It’s been an interesting week.  One of the things I’ve been dreading the most happened.  And then one of the coolest things ever happened.

I went to a managers meeting yesterday and saw many people I haven’t seen since the loss.   Going into it, I just had this feeling I would have an uncomfortable conversation with at least one person and I was right.  On one of the breaks, another manager saw me outside the room and said “Oh, are you just back from maternity leave? You had the baby!”  This is where the punch in the gut feeling happens.  I mean, how do you even respond.  I said to her well, no it didn’t work out.  Her face changed immediately and she said “Oh I didn’t know.”  I just said “it’s ok” and walked away before I started crying.  At least we weren’t in the meeting room at the time, in front of a large group or something.   I knew this sort of thing was going to happen sooner or later.  I guess in a way I am relieved I was able to deal with it sort of ok.  I held my tears. At least until after work.

The other night though, Jeff and I were in the backyard and I was taking some photos of Angel’s garden, since things are blooming quite nicely now.  I was standing in the middle of the yard and a butterfly came by pretty close to me.  I stood still in my place watching and it got closer and closer and then landed on my arm!!  Luckily I had the phone in my hands and the camera ready to go – I got a photo of it.  Coolest. Thing. Ever.