9 months

Dear Angel

9 months ago today we said hello & goodbye to you.  Soon it will be mother’s day, and I wish I had you in my arms.  This month is a bit hard Angel.  Maybe it is being without you on Mother’s day, or remembering where I was a year ago in May -so many special memories with you, or hurting for the other angel babies that were gone too soon in this month- there are so many moms that I hurt for.

One thing that has helped to heal my heart just a little is planting and caring for your garden. It brings me some joy this spring. I hope you can see the garden we’ve built for you.  One of the flowers started to bloom the other day and I thought of you. 

You gave me a tremendous gift Angel – the opportunity to feel the depth of my love for my child.  Even though you are not here physically, no one can take that away.

I long to feel the soft weight of you,
to welcome you home with kisses on silky round cheeks.
Instead my arms ache with the weight of your absence,
the empty places that were meant for you to grow into.
My love for you will last an eternity.
My hopes and dreams now carried on the fragile wings
of each butterfly passing, compelling me to peace,
to pause, to savour each moment
each flutter in my heart ~ your wings.
Author unknown.