Do I feel guilty saying no? Of course! I don't want to pretend she didn't exist and that she isn't a part of my life. But - I will decide, at the right time, if and when I choose to speak about her to any of my new colleagues. I wouldn't expect them to open up with me right away about personal hardships or tragedies either, although I am open to developing these type of close relationships with my colleagues, where this could become part of what we know about eachother.
Just because I don't speak of her doesn't mean she isn't incredibly important -- this is another way of me protecting her memory and protecting myself too, by not making her a subject of "casual discourse."
She deserves more than that.
I carry Angel in my heart always - and I choose who gets to see that part of my heart.
I avoid this question at all cost...however, it comes when I least want it to and its a difficult one to answer.
ReplyDeleteI was actually asked it today and I answered "no". I hated answering no, but I didn't want to get into it with a complete stranger and to be honest, I always feel worse having to see someone give me sympathy about their question.
It's hard...and I feel guilt for saying no, but I think for the most part I try not to dwell on the guilt.
Congratulations on getting the job!
ReplyDeleteThat is such a hard question.I get asked a lot if this is my first baby and I struggle with the answer every single time. When I do say yes, in my head I always say "the first to make it this far" or something like that. Or to the "do you have any kids" questions, if I say no, I say to myself "not that I get to raise". I feel like there is always a disclaimer I say to myself if I don't tell people about Jacob. I have said that this isn't my first and it isn't always terribly awkward, but sometimes it is and I quickly change the subject. We have a lifetime of having to live with questions like these and it sucks. I don't know if the internal battle of how to answer it ever goes away.