The guilt

One of the underlying feelings I have dealt with since losing Angel is the guilt I feel. I am her mom and I was taking care of her, she died inside of me, how could I not know something was wrong?
I should have known better, right?

I was watching a program on tv this week that talked about guilt and how to deal with this feeling.

It talked about how guilt is really coming from your ego and is a wasted emotion. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take responsibility for what has happened, and try to move forward.

The punishment has already happened. I suffered the ultimate punishment in losing Angel. So why must I continue to punish myself? For whatever reason I was granted the chance to stay here and she wasn't. As much as that pains me I can't continue to punish myself for the rest of my time here. That isn't fair to me and isn't what I would want her legacy to be.

I must give myself permission to forgive myself. Only then will real healing be possible.