Stillbirth Awareness - I am the face

I have been meaning to post a link to this for awhile...I shared my story on Faces of Loss and if you'd like to see it, here is the site:

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3900.html#more-3900

This site raises awareness about miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss.  They also give real advice to moms going through a loss.  I read all of the real advice pieces and I find them so valuable.  There were situations that I needed to learn to cope with, and I was able to learn from others that walked before me.

I am facinated in a way, looking at the photos of the women on this site. In most cases, they are photos of women who are happy, smiling, innocent, ready to take on life.  You look in their eyes and think - can they survive this?  How do they?  How can one find that happiness again?

_________

Everything is different now.  If you see me smiling, it is a welcomed break from feeling sad and missing Angel.  It might also mean I am just sick of crying.   On days when I am feeling good, I am almost surprised and waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I brace for another wave of sadness.  This is life now.  It is about trying to protect myself, being strong and facing it.

For a short time, I carried Angel in my body.  For an even shorter time that felt like a blink of an eye, I held her in my arms. I know I have her always in my heart. But I will never again have her hand in my hand. I miss her life in my life.