Paying it forward 6 months later

6 months ago today, August 10th, I walked in for a regular midwife's appointment and my whole world came crashing down. I still have flashbacks to August 10th alot.  I wish I didn't. I wish I could forget it, and erase it from memory.

6 months ago today, I was given a package of materials at the hospital about perinatal loss, while I was waiting to be induced and give birth to Angel.  Inside that package was a brochure from PBSO - Perinatal Bereavement Services of Ontario.  It took me over a month, but I eventually went to one of their bereavement group sessions and met other women and men that had also recently lost their baby.   Although I didn't spend a great deal of time with that group, it helped me in those early weeks of loss.  Jeff & I met other people that were dealing with the same challenges and had alot of the same feelings as us. It made us feel less crazy.  I made friends with two women in the community and those friendships continue to grow. 

And today, I decided to make a donation to PBSO in Angel's name, to acknowledge and remember her, and to hopefully provide some support to an organization that is incredibly poor and relies quite a bit on fundraising and volunteer support.  When Jeff and I lost Angel, we had asked people to donate in her name, and a great deal of support was given to the hospital and to children's charities.  I am so thankful for that support and I know other children will be helped through those donations.  PBSO helps moms and dads live with the aftermath of this tragedy and speaking from experience, we need that help.  Remembering the shock, trauma and heartache I faced 6 months ago today, I felt it was appropriate to give back and try to help another mom and dad in need.  I hope that in some small way, this is paying it forward to someone else who needs PBSO's support.