Always in my thoughts, forever in my heart

I think when someone loses a baby there are always going to be people in your life (either close friends/family or "peripheral people") that think eventually you will get over it, forget or move on. In fact, there are probably people in my life that think this should be the case for me, maybe even right now, almost 4 months later. 

If they are parents themselves, I suppose what I would suggest what they do is reflect on how long it took for them to "wean" themselves from their children, to feel that you are at a point where you can let go.  Even if you have a child that lives a long, healthy life, you always are a parent to them and feel the need to protect and guide them, and probably offer unsolicited advice to them, even when they are old and grey too!

I guess the point I am trying to articulate here is that most parents have years and years to adjust to their children eventually taking on their own independent lives and "leaving the nest" so to speak.  New moms have the early days of holding and caring for your child that is completely dependent on you. You may experience breast feeding, and helping your baby crawl and take their first step. You watch them say their first words, you see them explore the world as a toddler, you send them off to their first day of school, you help them grow and learn throughout their youth, you watch them graduate from high school and maybe from post-secondary. You see them walk down the aisle and have children of their own.  You eventually have an "empty nest".  And for many I imagine that empty nest is hard to deal with even at that time. 

For a mom who loses their baby, your child's life - immediate and future dreamed life - is wripped out of your hands incredibily suddenly and with such force, that you don't have those years and years to nuture your child and watch them become their own person, and then eventually "let them go."   It is an immediate loss with no time to digest or process or prepare for.

I write this just to offer a new perspective to those that might think "ok it is time to move on."  Most parents do not say goodbye forever to their children, and even when they say "see you later" when they move out and find their own path in life, it can still tug your heartstrings.

I will always have Angel in my thoughts every day of my life.  And she is forever in my heart.
Angel is kind of a big deal around here, and always will be.