How a friend can share the journey

Last night, Shannon sent me several photos that I hadn't seen before, from when I was pregnant with Angel.  It has inspired me to share the photos and to talk alittle bit about Shannon & I and how Angel has further defined our friendship.

I found out I was pregnant with Angel at the end of January.  Shannon was already about 3 months pregnant at the time, and she was the only other person I told besides Jeff that early on.  I wanted to talk to someone about being pregnant and all the changes I could expect with my body, and how exciting it all was, and who better to share that with then one of my best friends and someone who is also going through it!  

Shannon was my pregnancy buddy and we had so many good times together, talking about how we felt physically and emotionally, and preparing for our little ones to arrive.   Shannon knew what all the best baby products were out there - she researched like crazy and came up with tons of recommendations!  We talked at length about things like baby monitors, breast pumps, sleep sacks, etc.  It was great because we were both interested in learning everything we could about preparing for a baby, and while this might be boring to others, we couldn't get enough of it!  We shopped alot together and even took a trip over to Buffalo to check out maternity clothes and other baby items.   We talked about the different ultrasound scans, the IPS testing, the glucose test....I was pretty lucky to find out what things to expect from each, since Shannon was a trimester ahead. We knew we would help throw baby showers for eachother too, and Shannon's shower was held in June - I was about 5 months pregnant here, and she was a few weeks from her due date.

You would think that losing Angel might cause Shannon and I to drift apart but in fact the opposite has happened.  Shannon stepped up and was an anchor for me in the heartwrenching and awful early days of loss.  She called me when I was in the hospital shortly after I delivered. She told all of our friends for me because I didn't have the energy to do it.  She emailed me every day, with words of encouragement and compassion.  She made a donation in Angel's name to Sick Kids a few short days after we lost her.  She visited me at my home shortly after I delivered and brought me a lovely gift for Angel (a memory box), a handwritten card with words of support, and one of the most touching things ever - a letter to my baby girl.  Here is an excerpt from that letter:

"Your mommy loved you so much when you were inside her and did everything possible to care and protect you while you grew. You could not have been more wanted or more loved and you will always be loved more than anything by your parents.  To lose you is probably the hardest thing your Mommy and Daddy will ever experience in their whole lives and they will be forever changed living life without you.  They will think of you every single day for the rest of their lives and continue to love you more and more each day....
It makes my heart ache that Owen won't get to know you or that I won't get to see the two of you grow up together.....I understand your mommy bought you the Very Hungry Caterpillar book to be sent away with you. When I learned this I went out and bought the same book for Owen and I am going to write at the end of the book - In Memory of Angel, Friends Forever - and I will read this book to Owen many times as he grows up. He will ask me "Mommy who is Angel?" and I will tell him about you every time and your memory will live on with us forever."

Shannon, I hope you don't mind me sharing this excerpt of the letter but it really illustrates the depth of your understanding and compassion for me and for Angel.  I can't really thank you enough for everything you have done, and continue to do, as I find my way.  Thank you for sharing the journey.  Thank you for helping other women who are trying to walk beside someone in the face of loss, as I know you have passed on your experience to those who are trying to support a friend in need. 

Here is the last photo Shannon sent -- me holding Owen a week after he was born - really, I suppose it is a photo of me, Owen and Angel together.  I was 27 weeks.  I really like this one.