Depth of Grief

There was a pretty awful article printed in Macleans this week about "The Mourning After" and how people "overshare" their pregnancy and infant loss.  PBSO formally responded to the article which I am glad about - someone needs to set the record straight from the grieving parent perspective.   The article is wrong on so many levels.  Some of the "facts" aren't accurate, they reference a stillborn baby as "it"....I have to believe the writer has not experienced a loss comparable to mine, because they are writing from such a distance and passing judgement in a way that tells me they can't possibly understand what this is like. I don't want to go too much into the article because it just gets me annoyed but pieces of the PBSO response really resonated with me and I wanted to post an excerpt here:

"What Ms. Kingston labels as "oversharing", we at PBSO encourage as healthy grieving.  We do not identify taking pictures or sharing our stories as public parades of grief, but as sincere ackowledgement of loss.  Only when one's loss is recognized, can one effectively grieve.  Our society is not comfortable with death, particularly when involving miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.  Depth of grief is not related to length of gestation but rather to the attachment families have."

I think there are probaby alot of people out there that try to qualify grief.  Like - if you lost your child at 1 year old instead of 7 months gestation that would hurt so much worse.  Or taking that further, losing your child at 5, 10, 15, 20 years old, etc.  And you know what I can't speak to those other experiences and I don't want to get into a debate about that.  Ultimately though, Jeff and I lost our daughter.  As another post on here mentioned, she was a real, little person with a heart, soul, body, limbs, and face that looked like us.  We felt and still feel an incredibly strong attachment to her as she is a part of us.  To try to minimize the grief that is felt, just because she was an infant, born at 31 weeks, is incredibly hurtful and magnifies the pain of this experience.  And I think it is totally unnecessary to argue it.