February Project - out of order but inspired to contribute

So, I decided to contribute (late) to the February project on SOBBS. Nothing about grief is linear so why not do things backwards.

PROJECT FEBRUARY rules:
Take a picture. The only rule is the picture must be taken outdoors. Find something that reminds you of your journey or your child. It can be a snowflake, a leaf, a bird, a cloud, an ant....anything that evokes emotion in your heart. Don't be afraid to get down on the ground and look.

Today I saw something that inspired me to participate. This is the view out of one of the windows in my basement, where I work out. I stared at this leaf stuck in the fence while I was exercising and it struck me that it resonates with this journey. Some of the things it make me think about are:

• The tightness in my chest when I think about living life without my daughter
• A similar tightness and anger that I feel when someone says the wrong thing to me about her
• The feeling of being “stuck” sometimes, when I circle back in my head to August 10th/11th and relive the entire thing
• The way time stood still when I heard my daughter was gone
• The fierceness of which I want to hold on to and protect my daughter’s memory